Welcome To The Cradle Chronicles!

These are the crazy confessions of a novice mommy and her adventures in world "mom-ination." If you've followed my blog on PEOPLE.com/Babies, or read my new book Situation Momedy: A First-Time Mom's Guide to Laughing Your Way Through Pregancy & Year One, you're likely already familiar with my writing style and “Mommy-centric” blog fodder. If not, I'll introduce myself with this brief summary: Suffice it to say, I have kids. Two, in fact. Now, I’m not suggesting this defines me entirely, but it certainly goes a long way toward explaining my daily trials and tribulations with spit-up and dirty diapers. I also have five dogs, which throws some wacky canine parenting in the mix too. I hope you’ll continue coming back again and again for more of my motherhood anecdotes, and I look forward to hearing from you. If you haven't yet read "Situation Momedy," I hope you'll check it out! You can find a link for purchase under the "links" tab above. It makes a fun baby shower gift, even if you aren't a new mom yourself! The sequel, Situation Momedy: A Very Special Episode in Toddlerdom, is due to be released by Medallion Press in February 2017. Please feel free to follow me on Twitter and Instagram too!

--Photos in Welcome section courtesy of Mimosa Arts Photography--

February 8, 2013

Sick Girls

                     So far, 2013 has handed me a half empty glass, and I can’t wait to fill it. No, that isn’t my way of saying I’m resolving to drink more. Suffice it to say the start of the year has been less than satisfactory, bringing some serious trials and tribulations along with it… More than I can easily digest. In fact, January has been downright bitter and abysmal; a jagged little pill.

After a miserable cold that plagued week one, I figured I’d gotten the obligatory winter illness out of the way. I was convinced we were headed for greener pastures. Unfortunately, Gray developed the sniffles in week two, and a neighbor’s (mostly dead) tree fell on our house, causing quite a commotion. It scared the you-know-what out of Gray and I, and the pups scattered like candy from a busted piñata. We were resting on the couch in our TV room, nursing our congestion, when the splintering explosion occurred. The sound was so deafening, I couldn’t even tell where it was coming from. That may have been the most frightening part of the ordeal, since I couldn’t pinpoint where to run in order to get the baby out of harm’s way. Scary, yes, but I admit we were blessed on several levels. Case in point: I’d just brought the dogs in from outside, and the plummeting wood landed exactly where they’d been congregating a few moments before. I’m incredibly relieved to say they are all safe. I’m grateful Gray and I are in one piece too… the trunk struck the roof directly above where we were sitting, but landed in such a way that it avoided breaking through the window next to us. It slid until it reached our bathroom window instead. The tree narrowly missed taking out our gas main as well, which could have been a serious issue. Ultimately, it took part of our roof, a section of fence, our bathroom window, a chunk of our air conditioning unit, and my nerves down with it. I now dream about projectile branches and will clearly never pursue a career as an arborist. But it could have been worse, so I’m thanking my proverbial lucky stars. As a side note, the law states that neighbors aren’t responsible for trees that fall and damage (or cause injury on) your property, unless you’ve previously discussed the removal of said tree. Ugh. I don’t know about you, but I don’t make a habit of touring my neighbor’s lawn, and telling him how to handle his yard work. It’s pretty disappointing to be forced to make an insurance claim, and dish out our deductible, for something that could have been avoided had our neighbor taken better care of his trees. Please let this be a lesson to you all. If you are concerned about a tree hovering too close to your house, or you fear it might be dead or diseased, I encourage you to write a (friendly) letter to your neighbor about it. Have the letter delivered via certified mail, and keep a copy for your records. That way, if anything happens, you can prove they neglected to act upon your request. Sadly, the onus is on you, and that’s the only recourse you might have… which we learned the hard way!

Once we got past the tree debacle, I thought we were in the clear. I really did. But week three gifted me with an upper respiratory infection and Mastitis. Mastitis! Seriously? I’ve been breast feeding for eight months already, and I get Mastitis now? Evidently my immune system is loudly declaring its incompetence. That double whammy had me bedridden for a week. I’m still getting over it all, and I’m hacking like a 90-year old smoker with a cat infestation.  Mastitis can present as flu-like symptoms, so I spent a week battling a high fever, aches, chills, vomiting, you name it. Miss Gray was as accommodating as she could be, but let’s be honest… at eight months old, it’s tough to lie on a couch for days on end. She wanted to play “search and destroy,” while I wanted to play “let’s make-believe we’re Rip Van Winkle.” My husband wound up taking a few days off from work to assist me, which allowed me some healing time. Thank God. Unfortunately, Gray and Brad are now sick too, so we’re all working diligently on getting rid of this crud. These days, the family that sneezes together, stays together. Mucus be gone!

Sounds like a rough January, huh? Much to my dismay, the tale isn’t over yet… As if the overabundance of germs weren’t enough to deal with, Nashville was hit with a tornado last Wednesday. This was accompanied by winds that were over 100 miles per hour. Mother Nature clearly has it out for us! The storm happened to fall on a night when I still had a fever, so everything is a bit of a blur for me, but Brad woke me up in the wee hours to seek shelter. When you wind up with a mattress over your head at 3 am, with sirens blaring in the background, you can either blame a night of really bad drinking or a tornado. Thankfully, we didn’t wind up in Oz, and none of the five trees that uprooted in our neighbor’s yard that night wandered into ours this time around. However, the power pole across the street from us snapped in half, downing lines all over and knocking out our electricity for about 36 hours. It was freezing in our house, which is fun when you’re already shivering from a fever. Did I mention there was no cable or Internet for five days? Joy.

So c’mon, universe, what’s with the doom and gloom? I know these are interesting stories to tell Gray down the road, but enough already! I’m waiting for some good old fashioned fun, and some happier, healthier days. Not to jinx it, but 2013 can only get better, right? Here’s hoping your year has been less eventful than ours so far!


Until next time… Peace, Love, & Dirty Diapers,

Jenna von Oy

PS. Don’t forget to follow me on Twitter!

  • Melani says:

    Hi there! I too, have been sick with the crud, so to speak, my husband says since December…I feel like I have had better days but mostly coughing and sneezing and a sore throat. I had mastitis with one of my younger kids. I have 4, and my youngest is 5…I do remember it hurts like nothing you can even remotely describe and they want you to keep nursing, really!?!?! I would want a January do-over if I were you, too! Love your pups, I have 1 Pug and she has been the best, most loyal dog I have ever had.

  • MA Momma says:

    Jenna, I feel your pain. In our family of 4, soon to be 5, we’ve had colds/fevers/crud since Thanksgiving. It’s a never-ending, vicious cycle and I want off the merry-go-round, now! I have been sick twice in the last 4 weeks and my eldest now has it. We thought we’d conquered all our illnesses as well, but given the cold here in the Northeast and being hold up indoors, it’s nearly impossible to shed the germs. We got about a foot and a half of snow thanks to Nemo this past weekend, but we didn’t lose power, thank the good Lord. Top it off, last week while I was battling my cold and my daughter was just beginning hers my husband was away on business for 4 days. Thankfully my little one has been a trooper and she’s the only “healthy” one of the lot so far. I’d like a January do-over as well. You think if enough of us petition for this we can make it so?? Here’s hoping!

  • Pavel says:

    Good day, Jenna. I first wrote to you on jenna@jennavonoy.com and then just read about all the your events. Around me here in Moscow, too many people are sick too. I wish you a speedy recovery! Things will get better. If you have time, read my post at the post;) Thanks
    Pavel, Moscow

  • Karan says:

    oh, jenna, i’m so sorry! hope all of you are feeling much better now!

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