Welcome To The Cradle Chronicles!

These are the crazy confessions of a first time mommy, and her adventures in world "mom-ination." If you are coming to this blogsite by way of People.com, chances are you’re already familiar with my writing style and “Mommy-centric” blog fodder. If not, I'll introduce myself with this brief summary: Suffice it to say, I have kids. Two, in fact. Now, I’m not suggesting this defines me entirely, but it certainly goes a long way toward explaining my daily trials and tribulations with spit-up and dirty diapers. Which brings me to… Welcome to The Cradle Chronicles! I hope you’ll continue coming back again and again for more of my motherhood anecdotes, and I look forward to hearing from you. Please keep an eye out for my book, "Situation Momedy," to be released by Medallion Press in 2015 and feel free to follow me on Twitter too!

--Photos in Welcome section courtesy of Mimosa Arts Photography--

November 14, 2014

               I’ll admit any desire I had to pen this week’s post severely waned once November 1st rolled around… In case you haven’t been following along, that’s when I gave birth to my sweet new baby girl, Marlowe! Needless to say, the notion of writing any sort of blog, book chapter, or even thank you note, suddenly took a back seat to staring at her gorgeous little face. Hell, at this point I’m even hard pressed to draw up a grocery list. Can you blame me? Who wants to ponder poultry or contemplate cantaloupe when they have this beauty to gaze upon?


Marlowe Monroe

Marlowe Monroe


So what’s a mom to do in the aforementioned pickle? Well, I’m currently holding my sleeping baby in one arm, while typing with the other. After all, a multitasking mom’s gotta do what a multitasking mom’s gotta do! You can likely expect some brief posts in the near future, as I try to divide my time between a two-year old, a newborn, and a book deadline at the beginning of next year. In fact, I may switch to writing blogs every other week for a while, but we’ll tackle that topic at some point down the road. I’m hoping the idea of an entire book worth of anecdotes and parenting adventures will buy me a little latitude where the lack of new blogs are concerned. I hope? Pretty please?

In the meantime, I thought I’d share my photo (actually, photos) of the month. I realize we are only two weeks into November, but it’s already tough to imagine any other pictures replacing the poignancy of these… I couldn’t choose just one.

The first cuddle I had with my two daughters: I didn’t want any visitors on day one of my hospital stay, but the exception was Gray. My mom (who was taking care of her and holding down the fort while we were away, thank God!) brought her to us at the hospital. They spent the afternoon visiting, and we treasured every minute of it. We snuggled, held hands, talked about the significance and excitement of being a big sister, and celebrated welcoming more love into our family. It was one of the most memorable and stunning moments of my life. Love knows no bounds.


The First Cuddle

The First Cuddle


The first time Gray held her baby sister: I know I posted this last week, but it deserved to be posted again! I wouldn’t trade my little sister for anything in the world, and something tells me Gray will feel the same. In fact, I suspect she already does. I have one honored and pleased big sister on my hands!


The First Time Gray Held Her Baby Sister

The First Time Gray Held Her Baby Sister


The first professional photo of my girls: Not all hospital photos turn out well, but this one is incredible. It captures Gray’s personality and Marlowe’s newborn innocence, while still managing to show the wonder and pride of a big sister loving on her new sibling. I’m in awe and blessed beyond belief.


The First Professional Photo My Girls Took (photo credit: Impressions Photography)

The First Professional Photo Of My Girls (photo credit: Impressions Photography)


Until next time… Peace, Love, and Dirty Diapers,

Jenna von Oy

PS. To join my blog, please subscribe to the RSS feed at the top of your screen. This will help you stay in the loop when I release my new book, “Situation Momedy,” in 2015!

PPS. Don’t forget to join my Twitter  and check out my website too!


November 7, 2014
7 pounds, 4 ounces of Pure Perfection!

7 Pounds, 4 Ounces of Perfection!



Please join me in welcoming our new little girl, Marlowe Monroe!  I’m making this post a super quick one, as I’m still recovering and bonding with my sweet baby. Little Marlowe was born on November 1st, at 12:35 PM, and weighed in at 7 pounds, 4 ounces. She was 18.25 inches long, and she’s pure enchantment! Gray is beyond excited to have a new baby sister… I’ll let the photos speak for themselves!


We're All Enchanted

We’re All Enchanted


A Tale of Two SIsters

A Tale of Two Sisters


Until next time… Peace, Love, and Dirty Diapers,

Jenna von Oy

PS. To join my blog, please subscribe to the RSS feed at the top of your screen. This will help you stay in the loop when I release my new book, “Situation Momedy,” in 2015!

PPS. Don’t forget to join my Twitter  and check out my website too!

  • Carrie says:

    Congratulations on the newest addition to your sweet little family! I cannot wait to see more pictures of Gray and Marlowe together as they grow. All the best!

  • I know this is a little late, but I just watched your update on OWN and learned about your blog. It’s exciting to visit the site today and see your wonderful news! Congratulations!

October 31, 2014


Farmers Market Selfies

Farmers Market Selfies


In honor of Halloween and the birth of our next daughter, my husband and I have devoted much of our October to combining a lot of quality family time with fall-related outings. And since our new little one can really make her grand entrance at any time she pleases, we thought we ought to get our annual pumpkin picking out of the way before we found ourselves hospital-bound!

Gray has been eagerly awaiting her baby sister, but I suspect she still has no concept of what she’s really in for. As a new sibling can prompt feelings of separation anxiety and confusion over divided attention, we are doing our best to offer her some special one-on-one time over these next few weeks. Choosing her own pumpkin was first on Gray’s list of requests, and we were happy to oblige.

As you may recall from last year’s blog posts, our local farmer’s market is a favorite stop on the weekend agenda. This is especially true during the autumn season, when vendors come out in droves. Suffice it to say we went home with far more produce than merely a Jack-O’-Lantern or two! But it isn’t a colorful display of gourds that put these photos on my radar… it’s that smile on my kid’s face. (Because how can you not grin wildly when you’re amped up on Kettle corn and a pumpkin scouting high?) Fun was had by all, I can promise you that.

As an accompanying side story, I thought I’d include two cute comedic anecdotes from our trip. The number of funny quips coming out of Gray’s mouth seems to be growing exponentially these days, so I hope you get a little giggle out of them like we did…


Makeup Mischief

 As we were preparing to leave for the farmer’s market, Gray followed me into the bathroom, where I intended to wash my face and commence my morning makeup routine.


Gray: “Mommy, are you putting makeup on?”

Me: “Yes, I am”

Gray: “So you don’t hurt peoples?”


Um… REALLY??!!


Geriatric Gourds

           While making her pumpkin selections, which she was quite particular about, Gray spotted some bizarre looking things that piqued her curiosity. There was the squash that looked like a green Python, all-white pumpkins whose validity she questioned, and an abundance of mini munchkin pumpkins that tickled her to no end. But she was especially puzzled over a gray pumpkin she discovered. Noting it’s coloring, she inquired, “Mommy, that pumpkin is gray. Does that mean it’s really old?”


Pumpkin Pickin'

Pumpkin Pickin’


Wishing you and your family a safe and fun Halloween! I look forward to having some baby news for you soon!


Until next time… Peace, Love, and Dirty Diapers,

Jenna von Oy

PS. To join my blog, please subscribe to the RSS feed at the top of your screen. This will help you stay in the loop when I release my new book, “Situation Momedy,” in 2015!

PPS. Don’t forget to join my Twitter  and check out my website too!

October 24, 2014





              I know it’s crazy to turn down a celebratory gift-giving extravaganza, but I was staunchly opposed to having a baby shower for our newest little munchkin. After such a wonderful and incredibly generous turnout for Gray’s shower two and a half years ago, I couldn’t fathom asking folks to do it all over again! I didn’t want people to feel obligated to buy us something, when we have everything we need and then some.

Cut to: a bunch of our friends pooled together and suggested a “Diaper Drop” instead of the traditional shower. I’d never heard of this concept, but I’ll admit I was immediately persuaded. If you’re in the dark like I was, a Diaper Drop is a chance for friends and family to share in your new baby excitement, while simultaneously dropping off diapers and wipes. And who can’t use those? It’s not like we saved those hand-me-downs from Gray (thank God). So, lo’ and behold, we sort of wound up with a shower anyway, despite my heavy protestations… and darned if it wasn’t a blast!

Thanks to our dear friends Beth, Brad, Brittany, JD, Sarah, Brian, and Michael, (apparently it takes a village to throw us a party!) we wound up with an incredibly fun Sunday afternoon, spent munching on French-themed hors d’oeuvres, laughing with some of our closest friends, and stockpiling diapers galore! Check out the photographic evidence to prove it…


La Famille

La Famille

The gorgeous food! (Macarons by Le Macaron in Nashville)

The gorgeous food! (Macarons by Le Macaron in Nashville)

Until next time… Peace, Love, and Dirty Diapers,

Jenna von Oy

PS. To join my blog, please subscribe to the RSS feed at the top of your screen!

PPS. Don’t forget to join my Twitter  and check out my website too!

October 17, 2014

      In the biggest news since I found out I was having baby #2…

I’ve just secured a publishing deal!!!!!!!!!!!

My book, “Situation Momedy,” will be released in 2015, thanks to the awesome folks at Medallion Press! I’ve been working on this project since Gray was born, so I’m more than slightly thrilled to be moving forward with it. I can’t wait to give you all an excuse to read a full-length version of my mommy memoirs, and I hope you’ll stick with me and support my new endeavor!!

Stay tuned for additional details…


Until next time… Peace, Love, and Dirty Diapers,

Jenna von Oy

PS. Please forgive the short and sweet blog post this week, but I just couldn’t see clouding this exciting announcement with any anecdotes or recipes. I promise to resume my typically long-winded narratives next week!


PPS. To join my blog, please subscribe to the RSS feed at the top of your screen. Don’t forget to join my Twitter  and check out my website too!


October 10, 2014
October 10, 2010

October 10, 2010


It’s hard to believe four years have gone by since I married my husband (October 10th, 2010), until I think about the fact that we have a 2 ½ year-old, and another on the way. I guess when you spend the majority of those four years changing diapers and watching your belly grow to the size of a Mack truck, one tends to lose track of time.

With baby #2 due in only a month (if she waits it out…), we’ve been spending the majority of our last few weekends prepping. I’m finally buckling down and getting organized, and poor Brad has been working on a “honey do” list as lengthy as Route 66. With that in mind, we are treating ourselves to a much-needed dinner out for our special day. Traditionally, the gift for the fourth year is supposed to be flowers, but I’m lucky if I can waddle out of the house long enough to get the mail, so I think my flower-picking days may be temporarily numbered. A dinner sounded like a fair solution. I mean, what pregnant woman can turn down food?

In honor of our special day four years ago, I’ve provided a selection of wedding photos for you this week, most of which I’ve never published before.



It's all in the details...





Until next time… Peace, Love, and Dirty Diapers,

Jenna von Oy

PS. To join my blog, please subscribe to the RSS feed at the top of your screen!

PPS. Don’t forget to join my Twitter  and check out my website too!


October 3, 2014


My "Pop"ular Parmesan & Herb Soaked Popcorn

My “Pop”ular Parmesan & Herb Soaked Popcorn


I recently recalled a random (but very fond) childhood memory… I was probably 7 or 8 years old, and my brother and I wanted to go to the movies. We didn’t spend money on that sort of thing at my house, so my mom improvised. She laid a quilted blanket out on the living room floor, in front of our old television set. She made homemade popcorn in one of those old-fashioned machines with the butter reserve, and poured a celebratory cup of 7-Up for both my brother and I. That evening, we sat and feasted while watching the Disney Sunday night movie, which was probably Escape To Witch Mountain, or The Shaggy Dog, or Parent Trap. It was such a treat to have soda and popcorn—two things we definitely were not allowed to frequently indulge in. And it was treasured family time to boot!

In an effort to recapture the special memory from so long ago, I thought I would recreate the “indoor movie night” idea. These days, I find myself swapping the old live-action flicks for classic cartoons such as Lady & The Tramp, Jungle Book, or the newer, dangerously catchy, cinematic demigod, Frozen. (Which, for the record, I’ve seen in excess of 200 times already. Clearly its popularity is not lost on my two-year-old!) But cuddling up to watch a movie still stirs excitement for me, as it promotes much-needed family fun time. Now all I needed was the appropriate refreshments! In typical “I don’t do anything the easy way” fashion, I thought I’d embellish the “popcorn & soda” concept a bit.


It's a hit!

It’s a hit!


For obvious reasons, I’m not interested in giving sugary, carbonated beverages to my two-year-old, so the 7-Up was replaced with a little cup of sparkling water. (Or, as Gray refers to it, “spicy water.”) And then it was time to make the popcorn. Sadly, I have no 70’s style contraption to pop our corn kernels in. I’ll admit that took some of the nostalgic joy out of it for me, but what can a girl do? Sometimes technology has its advantages too. Despite my aversion to using our microwave, I admit there are times when it comes in handy. This was one of those times. Not to mention, just when Gray began to get impatient for her snack (read: a meltdown was on the brink), she was sufficiently distracted by the miraculous novelty that is: popcorn popping. And just in case that plain old microwave popcorn wasn’t fancy enough for our movie night extravaganza, I took it to another level with some cheesy, herbed goodness…


My “Pop”ular Parmesan & Herb-soaked Popcorn

(Recipe by Jenna von Oy)



1  Bag plain, unsalted microwaveable popcorn

4 Tbs. unsalted butter

1 -3 Pinches Fleur de Sel (amount varies according to your taste)

2 Stalks fresh basil

2 Stalks fresh Italian parsley

1 Stalk fresh sage

1 Stalk fresh rosemary

1/4 Cup Parmesan Cheese (grated or shredded)


~Chop all of your herbs and set aside on the cutting board.

~ Put that bag of popcorn kernels in your microwave, and let those suckers go! (Actually- follow the instructions… It’s usually done when there is a second or two in between popping sounds.) Put the butter in a large metal mixing bowl.

~ Heat a sautée pan on med-high. Add butter, and melt until just sizzling.

~ Take pan off heat, and add the herbs. Mix well.

~ Pour butter and herb mixture over popcorn, add salt to taste, and sprinkle with Parmesan cheese.

~ Mix well, serve, and pray you can survive yet another viewing of Frozen!



Until next time… Peace, Love, and Dirty Diapers,

Jenna von Oy

PS. To join my blog, please subscribe to the RSS feed at the top of your screen!

PPS. Don’t forget to join my Twitter  and check out my website too!

  • Leah Wright says:

    I’ve ditched the microwave popcorn packs and their mystery ingredients for whole kernels and a brown paper bag. Put 1/2 cup in a jumbo paper lunch bag, roll down the top a few times, and pop. It takes 2:15 in my microwave and I know exactly what went in the bag (specifically no oil).

  • Sylvia says:

    Ive enjoyed reading your blog. I will definitely try out some of the recipes. Also, I remember you the most from – The Parkers. Amazing to see you all “grown up” and a mom.

September 26, 2014


Glam Girls


I’ll admit that I’ve been a bit more casual about preparing to give birth to my second daughter. At this stage of my pregnancy with Gray, I’d registered at the hospital, completely painted and decorated the nursery, and taken assorted birthing classes with my husband. I had newborn diapers stockpiled and coming out of my ears, and I’d already purchased the perfect “bringing baby home from the hospital” outfit. Or two. Or five. I had my somewhat overzealous “to go” bag filled to the brim, and I’d stashed it in the hall closet for safekeeping. I wasn’t just making progress; I was thoroughly prepared. And by “thoroughly prepared,” I mean that I could have gone into labor during any number of catastrophic, cataclysmal conditions, and had all bases covered. I could have birthed a baby while floating down the Amazon River on a driftwood raft lit only by Tiki torches, as long as I had my well-stocked, super-sized “to go” bag along for the ride.

Now ask me what I’ve done thus far for the impending birth of my second daughter… The answer is short and simple: nothing. Unless, of course, you count the fact that I’ve located my nursing bras. Which, I suppose, would be somewhat more notable had they not been holding vigil in my underwear drawer all along.

To be clear, my lackluster efforts aren’t to suggest I’m not equally excited to meet this new little bundle of joy who will be gracing us with her presence sometime before mid-November. I’m absolutely over the moon about her arrival; there’s no casual indifference about it! It’s not that I’m too exhausted, or hell-bent on procrastinating like I’m studying for a college Physics exam, or in denial that the sleepless nights are in our very near future. It’s not even that the novelty of readying for a baby has worn off. It’s that chasing after a 2-year-old has made the time go by faster than I can say, “We’ve come a long way, baby!”

I’m only a little over a month away from giving birth, which sort of snuck up on me. You know, in the beautiful and treasured way that only a wriggling, hiccupping, bladder-kicking, uterus-expanding, belly-monopolizing baby can. And I know she can technically decide to make her appearance at any time, so I suppose I ought to start buckling down!

But first, there might as well be a blog about it.


8 months!

8 months!


During my first pregnancy, each month that passed felt like a year. As with a watched pot that never boils, the constant countdown of a pregnancy makes it seem interminable. I waited for every milestone like it was the second coming. Every punch and jab was a much-anticipated novelty that never wore off (which is still the case, if I’m being perfectly honest), and each day brought fun new ailments that made me crack open the What To Expect When You’re Expecting guidebook. I woke up each morning thinking, “What can I do to lay the parental groundwork today?” I was energetic, mildly jittery, and perpetually restless. In other words, I was a typical, soon-to-be, first-time mom! But how does one truly get everything in order for a second child, when they are still marveling over the first? I mean, who has time to paint and prep a nursery when there are tea parties to be had? Or silly songs to sing? Or books to read about llama drama and hungry caterpillars? Or Frozen to be watched for the thousandth time (this week)? Moreover, who has time to rearrange the drawer of newborn clothes, when you can snuggle with the 2-year-old that’s right in front of you instead? I’m suddenly finding myself in the “there’s no need to rush, so why stress?” camp. Up next: Kumbaya and S’mores by the campfire. If the nursery mobile isn’t hung or the crib blankets still need to be washed, we’ll manage. Moreover, I don’t imagine the baby will be disappointed that we were a bit slow in getting our act together. It will all fall into place eventually, right?

Or so I’ve convinced myself.

Perhaps my mellow approach to baby #2 is because I’ve relaxed into my parenting. Well, as “relaxed” as a micro-managing, type A woman can be. I’d like to think that I know a little something about what to expect now, so there isn’t quite the same heightened level of pre-baby activity. There are always new things to be learned, but the curve isn’t nearly as steep. This time around, I’m not buzzing with undue impatience and apprehension. In other words, I don’t have the kind of nervous energy that might propel me to clean out the freezer for the fifth time this month, or stock up on a pantry full of toilet paper, or bake chocolate chip cookies for everyone in a ten-mile radius. (Though the latter may disappoint a neighbor or two.)

It certainly helps that we already have everything we need in our possession. And I do mean everything! Thanks to the wonderful gifts we received from our family and friends at Gray’s baby shower, we are fully equipped with every baby-related item we could possibly want. And that’s an understatement. There’s even a closet full of clothes that would make the Olsen twins jealous.

At some point soon, I’ll need to scour the attic for the newborn onesies and give them all a good laundering. I’ll locate the bibs and burping cloths, install the infant car seat, and dust off the baby bathtub. For now, I’m getting Gray transitioned into her big girl bed, so she has time to acclimate before her sister commandeers her old crib. (So far, so good on that one!) We’ve also scheduled Gray for a “Tots on Tour” of the hospital where I’ll be delivering, because we want her to be as involved as possible. We are making sure she shares in the excitement, so the transition won’t feel quite so drastic. Thankfully, Gray has no shortage of enthusiasm over meeting her sibling. She often asks me, “Is my baby sister ready to come out yet?” and rubs my tummy like she’s waiting for the genie to be liberated from the lamp. It’s incredibly endearing! I encourage her to speak to her sister as much as possible, as I’m a firm believer that bonds can form even while baby is in the womb. It’s neat to see Gray taking ownership of her new role as “big sister,” frequently declaring vows such as, “Mommy, I’m going to share my toys with my baby sister when she gets here,” and “I’m going to let her sleep with me in my big girl bed.” Of course, she’s in for a rude awakening when there’s actually a tiny, crying human in the house, but… I couldn’t be more excited that she’s excited!

A neat side benefit is that Gray has really stepped up to the plate in the independence department lately. She’s learning to rely on herself a little more, rather than expecting me to do everything for her. She puts her toys away without being asked, and every now and then she lets me know she’s going to go to play by herself. Sometimes I find her quietly flipping through books in her reading chair, or drawing pictures at her little table. She’s discovering that playtime by oneself can be fulfilling, and I’m thrilled for her. Learning to spend time alone can be cathartic and inspiring! I keep an eye on her from a distance and, of course, eavesdrop on the hilarious conversations she conducts with her stuffed animals. She likes to wax poetic about the importance of their naptime, and why they shouldn’t jump on her bed. (Score! My words really ARE sinking in!) I also recently overheard her sweetly talking to her baby doll as if it were her sister. She was dressing her in some frilly get up, and offering her milk and Cheerios. I’m not sure how patient Gray will be while she waits for the baby to get big enough for that sort of quality playtime together, but I definitely have a proud big sis on my hands!


"Patiently" Waiting For Her Baby Sister

“Patiently” Waiting For Her Baby Sister


In some ways, welcoming a new little girl is nerve-wracking. Sure, on the surface we have everything we need, but it’s not just about the material objects. A new baby brings unfamiliar challenges and distinct experiences. Of course, that’s part of the fun of having another child, and we look forward to it immensely! However, it’s tough to look beyond the example we already have running, and laughing, and gabbing (oh, the gabbing!) in front of us. It is nearly impossible to envision a daughter other than Gray, even though we can appreciate that no two children are exactly alike. I don’t expect to be able to truly wrap my head around that concept until our little one has arrived and, while she and Gray will undoubtedly have some sisterly similarities, I suspect this little girl will bring a whole new type of sass along with her. It’s strange to picture another child nursing, or smiling up at me with sleepy eyes, or snuggling in my arms, but I look forward to embracing her uniqueness; she will be her own exquisite, enchanting, breathtaking self. I don’t wonder IF I’ll love her, but rather how I’ll love her differently. And there’s a tremendous amount of beauty in that anticipation!

Suffice it to say we may not have the house arranged or the nursery organized yet, but we possess all of the love needed to welcome home our new family member. Our hearts are overflowing and ready for her arrival and, in the whole scheme of things, everything else is secondary…


Until next time… Peace, Love, and Dirty Diapers,

Jenna von Oy

PS. To join my blog, please subscribe to the RSS feed at the top of your screen!

PPS. Don’t forget to join my Twitter  and check out my website too!

September 19, 2014
Gray's "Selfie" Speaks Volumes...

Gray’s “Selfie” Speaks Volumes…


At first glance, this photo may seem like an accident. It might appear to be a random shot of nothing in particular, that no one in her right mind would purposely post as a “Photo of the Month.” Upon second glance, however, I wonder if you’ll notice the details that make this picture near and dear to my heart…

This is a “selfie” Gray took while we were cherishing some family cuddle time on the couch. She stole my phone (per usual), and managed to find a way to employ the camera without the use of my password (how do kids do that?!). I stumbled upon the montage of images the following morning, and almost erased them all. That is, until I analyzed them a bit more closely. Now I’m thankful my fingers weren’t so hasty with the delete button!

I love that the view is taken from a 2-year-old’s perspective. Who needs faces in the frame when you can capture a candid snapshot of feet? It manages to encompass all three of us (my husband, Gray, and I), along with one of our dogs, and it is clear how close together we are. That’s a lot of legs and paws on one loveseat! I adore that Gray is wearing the brightest colors in the room, making her the colorful, dazzling, focal point; it’s a fair depiction of her position in our lives. And I love that Brad and I, though our bodies are largely unseen, clearly bookend our baby. We are on either side of our sweet girl, offering affection, protection, and support.

Sometimes a photo says a thousand words.

Sometimes an inadvertent selfie taken by a 2-year-old says even more.


Until next time… Peace, Love, and Dirty Diapers,

Jenna von Oy

PS. To join my blog, please subscribe to the RSS feed at the top of your screen!

PPS. Don’t forget to join my Twitter  and check out my website too!



September 12, 2014
Funny Girl

Funny Girl



Maybe my kid is getting more comedic as the days go by, or maybe pregnancy is overzealously tickling my funny bone. (Actually, I suspect that particular sensation can be blamed on the baby who’s hanging onto my ribs, but still…) Some pretty hilarious quips have escaped my 2-year-old’s lips in the last month or so, and I thought you might get a kick out of hearing a few.


  1. Taking Creative License with Sandwich-making: Gray is a fairly solid eater, and she doesn’t discriminate. My husband and I have done our best to introduce her palate to a variety of foods, so her tastes tend to run the gamut. That said, a recent lunch had me wondering if her appetite had begun bordering on the severely eccentric.


Me: “Gray, I’m making some lunch. Would you like a turkey sandwich?”

Gray: “ Yes please, Mommy. With gray pecans & bandaids.”

(A moment transpires while I attempt to translate this response from Toddler-ese into something resembling a sensible meal request)

Me: “Sure, no problem. One turkey sandwich with Gray Poupon and mayonnaise coming right up!”


At least she said “please.”


  1. Coffee Talk: By now, I suspect you are well aware of my affinity for caffeine—more specifically, for Starbucks coffee. These days, in fairness to my pregnancy, I’ve mostly switched to unleaded brew. Nonetheless, my errands often revolve around acquiring a cup of Joe before anything else can be accomplished. Apparently, I’m already passing along my enthusiasm…


Gray and I recently set out on a full day of errands. I generally try to reserve this type of activity for a time when Gray is in daycare but, alas, it was a necessary evil. With a list of 6 or 7 stops in our near future, I knew we were in for a long and exhausting afternoon. Which is why my sudden diversion to a giant toy store makes it clear that logic had momentarily left the building. Without thinking it through, I turned to Gray and asked, “Would you like to check out a toy store with me?” Once the question had escaped my lips, and I’d received her enthusiastic “Oh, yes!” in response, I realized my mistake. Every parent knows not to bring a child to a toy store or playground BEFORE the rest of the errands are done, right? But I’d already made my bed. We were toy store-bound.


Upon entering the shop, Gray immediately discovered the “kitchen” area, complete with elaborate kid-compatible supplies, and wooden grocery items. My little foodie was in heaven, and began busying herself with pots and pans. I commenced searching for the perfect gift for a one-year old boy, which I’m mostly clueless about. Thankfully, this particular place wasn’t your generic, run-of-the-mill, dollhouse extravaganza. It offered innovative and educational items, rather than every Disney princess figurine and Sesame Street character one could possibly need or want. Consequently, the perfect gift found its way into my hands in no time flat. As the cashier was wrapping the present, and I watched my daughter playing happily and soundlessly, I started contemplating how to avoid the meltdown of mythic proportions that was bound to ensue when I said, “Ok, let’s put the toys away now. It’s time to leave.” And that’s when my child surprised the heck out of me…


Gray: “Mommy, are we ready to go yet? I’m hungry, and I need to go to Starbucks to get a cheese Danish.”

(Insert my jaw dropping, and scattered laughter from my fellow toy store patrons here.)


Only my kid.


  1. Muscle Memory: One of the things I love most about my husband is his propensity to respond to very kid-like questions, with very non kid-like answers. I often find him launching into history or science lessons, while Gray looks on with sheer bewilderment. Or perhaps it’s mild amusement. So it was no surprise when Gray looked at me one afternoon and said, “Mommy do you have pectoral muscles?” I immediately recognized the source of her inquiry. “Have you been discussing Anatomy with your dad again?” I asked. “Yep,” she answered. “I do, in fact, have pectoral muscles,” I told her. “No you don’t, Mommy,” she replied confidently, “Daddy has pectoral muscles. You have boobies.”


And there you have it. Who can argue that kind of logic?


  1. Pointing the Proverbial Finger: My daughter was on a Skype video chat with my mother the other day, and they were discussing all of the preparations we are making for the arrival of her new baby sister. Apparently Gray is planning to be a very influential and loving big sis. But just in case, she has already chosen a scapegoat if she needs one…


My Mom: “Are you going to give your baby sister hugs and kisses?”

Gray: Yep.

My Mom: “Are you going to show her what a big girl you are, and share your toys?”

Gray: “Yep.”

My Mom: “Are you going to teach her good things?”

Gray: “Nope. Blame Daddy”



  1. Party Fouls: One Saturday, as we were getting ready to leave for a friend’s birthday celebration, I discovered that my daughter is learning some valuable life lessons of the social sort…


Gray: “We’re going to a party, Mommy?”

Me: “Yes, ma’am. We’re going to a birthday BBQ.”

Gray: “I’m not going to cry, Mommy”

Me: “Oh good, I’m glad to hear that.”

Gray: “I’m not going to pick my nose either.”

Me: “I’m even happier to hear that.”


Lo’ and behold, kids really DO say the darnedest things! Gray’s innate sense of comic timing is often surprising and impressive, and it certainly keeps me on my toes. If you feel like sweetening my day with an additional dose of laughter, please feel free to send along any funny stories you have as well! I love hearing from you…


Laughter is the best medicine

Laughter is the best medicine

Until next time… Peace, Love, and Dirty Diapers,

Jenna von Oy

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  • Kim Q says:

    I keep a list of the funny things that come out of my daughters’ mouths so as not to forget. One of the funniest- when I was pregnant with my second daughter, my first daughter was at her gymnastics class (she had just turned 4 years old at the time). One of the other moms had to take her daughter to the bathroom and she was holding her baby at the time. I volunteered to hold the baby. My daughter saw me holding the baby and her eyes got as big as saucers. I saw her mouth, “Is that YOURS???” through the viewing window. I just about died laughing. If only having a baby could be so easy! Ha!

  • Desiree says:

    When my daughter, Kellie, was about 5 years old, she came home from kindergarten in hysterics. I’m talking can’t breathe tears of pure devastation. When I asked her what was wrong the following conversation happened:

    Me: What is wrong?
    Kellie: I can’t jump the rope!!! (she was SO upset)
    Me: I’ve seen you jumprope many times; why can’t you do it now?

    She looked at me and in the most exasperated voice, through tears and fristration, she throws her arms in the air, drops them back at her sides and screams “Because I’m white!”

    After a little more conversation and recon work, I discovered that one of the teen supervisors at her after-school program had used the phrase “white girl can’t jump” and poor Kellie was heartbroken.

  • Tiffany says:

    OMGosh! Grey Poupon and Mayonnaise….totally got that! LOL…I have a 3 year old who constantly leaves me speechless with his #KiddieLogic and their are many times I can do little more than Nod & Smile when my Momma translator seems to be on the blitz… :)